dreadnot: (Zim - Gir Just One of Those Days)
[personal profile] dreadnot
I need to get my mind on other things at the moment.

I live in a state of frequent low-level irritation with life's vagaries unflattering but true, but I don't spend much time flat out angry.

Distract me.

I wrote four drabbles for Ruxi and her penguins in less than an hour and a half, so you can hit me there, too. I'll write it as soon as I see the request (unless someone's over my shoulder. XD )

ETA: No! No, loud guy in the cube on the other side of the partition from me, I do not want to know that you're setting up a colonoscopy because something "is leaking."

No. Please. Do. Not. Want.

Drabbles:
Funny That :: Hellsing :: Pip and his cigarettes post mortem
Places Hellsing Shouldn't Go :: Hellsing :: Alucard at a ren faire
Shut Up :: Hellsing :: Rip x Jan
The Raven Says Thank You :: Original :: Du und dein Automobil
Sticks and Stones :: Hellsing :: Alucard and codpiece collection
Geseundheit :: Hellsing :: Alucard and allergies
Welcome Back :: Forbidden Kingdom :: The drunken master and... someone?
Suck Harder :: Transmetropolitan :: Spider's thoughts on yaoi

on 2008-05-07 07:49 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sir-hellsing.livejournal.com
HMmmmmmmmmmm. Drabble... How did Pip get that cigarette inside of Seras? Speshful, Hirano.

Funny That - 100 words

on 2008-05-07 07:58 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] dreadnot.livejournal.com
Funny how being dead didn’t really feel all that dead.

Still, this really wasn’t how he’d wanted to be inside Seras. Not all the way inside Seras.

Funny how being just blood and soul was enough for all those old familiar things to come with him – the bush hat, the sense of his body, the long braid… the nicotine addiction.

Funny how even that wasn’t as much of a problem.

Did it matter if the cigarette he lit was just blood and soul?

Pip took a drag off the cigarette and decided the funny thing was, the answer was no.

on 2008-05-07 08:47 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] dreadnot.livejournal.com
You're welcome. :D

moar hearts

on 2008-05-08 08:33 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] mollypocket.livejournal.com
♥ ♥ ♥

on 2008-05-07 07:55 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] michelf.livejournal.com
ETA: No! No, loud guy in the cube on the other side of the partition from me,

Aliens.

Okay, random things.

Not this Sunday but next I'm going to go back to the Ren Faire to work at the Whore House as Mystress Mary Milker. While I'm there, the whores are going to do a musical number for the Queen where our German "Camp Frou", who's name is "Elsa Clench", is going to do a modified version of the song "I'm Tired" from the movie Blazing Saddles. And it's my job to teach the backup singers their part.

This Saturday will be another labyrinth training event for The Lost Ring. You should go. You don't have to know about anything to join in the fun. Just stand in a line with other people and hum.

I've just got around to downloading the rest of Breaking Bad... Holy shmoely that show is hard core! They dissolve a guy and then flush it down the toilet!

EDIT: Drabble... Alucard at a Ren Faire. Go.
Edited on 2008-05-07 07:56 pm (UTC)

Places Hellsing Shouldn't Go - 100 words

on 2008-05-07 08:09 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] dreadnot.livejournal.com
“That isn’t authentic.”

The only response to the complaint was a quiet sigh, which only encouraged the complaint to continue.

“Why is everyone wearing Spanish and English clothing? And Italian? I’ll have you know that Wallachia was well-respected for its…”

“Alucard.” The quiet voice cut off the complaint before it could reach a higher pitch. Strange how the one word managed to convey someone with excellent self-control about to lose said excellent self-control.

“Yes, Walter?”

“If you want authenticity, go to the museum. If you want a vampire preying of fairegoers, come here.”

“Walter.”

“Yes, Alucard?”

“Your tights are sagging.”

on 2008-05-08 08:35 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] mollypocket.livejournal.com
YES. Oh my god, yes. Thank you!

I know what I'll be thinking at the faire.

on 2008-05-07 08:11 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] dreadnot.livejournal.com
I'm glad you watched it. It is hardcore. I really just loved watching the way Walter was trying to incorporate who he always saw himself as with what he was becoming and doing.

on 2008-05-07 08:14 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] michelf.livejournal.com
I had to stop for a bit. I can't binge on this show the way I've done with Doctor Who or Supernatural.

Usually I have to stop it when the brother-in-law shows up. I really hate his brother-in-law.

on 2008-05-07 08:17 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] dreadnot.livejournal.com
It's crazily intense. The day he shaved his head and went to the meth distributor's place, for instance.

I can see how sitting down to watch it for seven hours straight would be way too much. I watched it each week, so got it in manageable doses.

on 2008-05-07 08:32 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] michelf.livejournal.com
I'm only just up to the point where he's put the plate back together.

on 2008-05-07 08:24 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] shini02.livejournal.com
Wanna give Jan x Rip a shot? :)
Edited on 2008-05-07 08:25 pm (UTC)

Shut Up - 100 Words

on 2008-05-07 08:43 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] dreadnot.livejournal.com
He was so loud.

No, not just loud – strident. Raucous. Cacophonous.

But, as the Major would say, cacophony has its place in war.

Perhaps that was why Rip the Hunter found that any day could be Valentine’s day if she really wanted it to be.

… “And then I’m going to pull out the big guns. That bitch ain’t gonna know what hit her…”

Percussive, staccato, his words fell in her ears like a rushing clash of drums.

And just perhaps there were times when his frenetic rhythm could be put to better use.

“Shut up, Jan and kiss me.”

on 2008-05-07 08:24 pm (UTC)
bellatemple: (Alias/Heroes - thinking)
Posted by [personal profile] bellatemple
*pats sympathetically*

Okay, drabble me something to the theme of "Du und dein Automobil" (song title or lyrics, either way)?

on 2008-05-07 08:46 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] dreadnot.livejournal.com
*twitches but doesn't bite*

I'll have to think on that one on the train. Fifteen more minutes and I am so out of here.

on 2008-05-07 08:47 pm (UTC)
bellatemple: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] bellatemple
*tries not to look disappointed at the lack of biting*

Take your time.

The Raven Says Thank You - 100 words

on 2008-05-07 10:49 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] dreadnot.livejournal.com
You didn’t know when you left the house this morning that you would return home a murderer.

“It’s a beautiful day,” you said. “Let’s go for a drive.”

You returned home a little shell-shocked – blood and hare on your undercarriage as indictments of your hand on the wheel. Hands at ten and two didn’t change a thing.

Do you think her last thought as the car sped toward her, frozen in shock in the middle of the road, was “It’s a beautiful day, I just wanted a walk”?

Probably not. Rabbits aren’t prone to sentiment.

The raven says thank you.

Re: The Raven Says Thank You - 100 words

on 2008-05-07 11:11 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] dreadnot.livejournal.com
Thanks. It went through a few different evolutions on the train. I'm spoiled by the computer. It's just easier to write when the words hit the screen almost as quickly as they come together in my head.

Re: The Raven Says Thank You - 100 words

on 2008-05-07 11:13 pm (UTC)
bellatemple: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] bellatemple
I know that feeling. But I've found that if I'm having trouble with something, it's actually helpful to go back to pen and paper. Not sure why. But all my best work was at least a couple of sentences on real paper before it ever hit the screen.

Re: The Raven Says Thank You - 100 words

on 2008-05-07 11:17 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] dreadnot.livejournal.com
Hehe. This one kind of did that. I wrote and went "blergh, scratch that out." Wrote some more, "blech, hate that." Wrote some more, "this sucks, but I'm keeping that line."

That line being "The raven says thank you."

Re: The Raven Says Thank You - 100 words

on 2008-05-07 11:18 pm (UTC)
bellatemple: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] bellatemple
It's a good line.

And welcome to the world of "proper" writing. In my experience? That's totally how it most often works.

Re: The Raven Says Thank You - 100 words

on 2008-05-08 01:41 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] dreadnot.livejournal.com
Eh. I don't want to be a "proper" writer. I just want to write for fun.

Re: The Raven Says Thank You - 100 words

on 2008-05-08 02:18 am (UTC)
bellatemple: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] bellatemple
IMO, that's closer to doin' it right, anyway. ;D

Random things

on 2008-05-07 09:35 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] mkanoap.livejournal.com
I had a teacher once who swore, based on his observation, that a cow chews its cud exactly 42 times between each swallow and regurgitate cycle. He did not understand why I thought this was such an interesting and important number.

I don't know if I believe the above "fact" so I went googling and discovered not a confirmation, but the interesting fact that an adult dog should have 42 teeth.

Re: Random things

on 2008-05-07 10:50 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] dreadnot.livejournal.com
Of course, a woman with a son named Ford would actually appreciate those tidbits. Thank you.

Re: Random things

on 2008-05-07 11:13 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] mkanoap.livejournal.com
I'm slow sometimes, but I eventually figured out that we had spoken before, and knew these would be apropos.

on 2008-05-07 09:43 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] noblesseoblige.livejournal.com
Hellsing. Codpiece collection. GO!

Sticks and Stones - 100 words

on 2008-05-08 12:18 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] dreadnot.livejournal.com
“I said no!”

Walter ran when he heard the enraged shout, finding Integra alone, leaning over her knee, rubbing it with an expression of pain she stifled when she spotted him.

“It’s nothing, Walter. You can go.” When he hesitated, she uncharacteristically shouted at him, “Get out!”

“Of course,” he murmured, backing out of the room.

]Alucard appeared and fell into step with his old companion.

Walter shot him a look. “What happened?”

Alucard’s laugh was full-throated, echoing through Hellsing’s halls.

“Alucard…”

The vampire rapped his knuckles at his groin and grinned. “She just found out about my codpiece collection.”

on 2008-05-07 11:54 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] into-theblack.livejournal.com
Alucard, allergies, and any member of the Hellsing organization you choose.

Geseundheit - 100 words

on 2008-05-08 12:28 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] dreadnot.livejournal.com
The windows rattled with the force of the sneeze.

Around the manor, Seras jumped with a quiet “eep!”

Pip grabbed his gun for the fourth time in as many minutes.

Integra considered buying stock in a pharmaceutical company to subsidize her need for more aspirin.

Walter sighed to himself and shook out his cloth before returning to carefully wiping off the coffin that no one else was allowed to touch.

“You mithed a thbot,” Alucard said thickly from his chair, wiping his running eyes with a tissue.

“If you’d leave,” Walter murmured, “your dust allergy wouldn’t bother you.”

“Hmpf. No.”

Re: Geseundheit - 100 words

on 2008-05-08 01:04 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] into-theblack.livejournal.com
Poor Walter. :) That was fun. Thank you.

on 2008-05-08 12:16 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] vampirehunter85.livejournal.com
Forbidden Kingdom. The Drunken Immortal sees the Traveler come into his shop after so long.

Welcome Back - 100 words

on 2008-05-08 12:40 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] dreadnot.livejournal.com
You want Bruce Lee movie? Good deal on it. I give you three for five dollar. Best deal in town.

No?

Fists of Fury? Raging Wrath of Shaolin Monks of Furious Rage? No?

Two Girls One Cup? No?

Head full enough now?

You don’t look so squishy now, white boy. Maybe you want to learn some kung-fu? Show some respect for an old master, yes?

Maybe you ready to see the back room. Special things there. Adventures there. The lost sword of the Heavenly King of the East, the pearl eye of the Dragon of the West.

Once a hero….

on 2008-05-08 12:27 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] ruxi.livejournal.com
I demand to know Spider Jerusalem's thoughts on yaoi.

Suck Harder - 100 words

on 2008-05-08 01:32 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] dreadnot.livejournal.com
Someone, some fan wanted my thoughts on yaoi.

Here you go boys and girls, gather ‘round and let Uncle Spidey tell you all about the birds and the bees and what happens when men fuck men.

In the real world, men fucking men is rarely sweet, it’s rarely tender, and it had damn well better come with lube.

In hearts and flowers world, anuses self-lubricate.

There’s a trait for that here.

In hearts and flowers world, there are many declarations of “I can’t live without you.”

In my world?

“I can come without you; suck harder.”

Thus endeth the lesson.

on 2008-05-08 01:53 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] ruxi.livejournal.com
...BUT UNCLE SPIDEY, YOU FORGOT THE PART ABOUT THE BIRDIES.

on 2008-05-08 01:55 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] dreadnot.livejournal.com
The seals fucked the birdies.
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